13.11.2013.

13/11/2013 what a day . mixtures of happiness and a whole lot of sadness .. recently i was wondering what is the true meaning behind the world "LIFE" the saying that goes life is full of uncertainties is indeed TRUE . We don't know what will happen tomorrow , not to say tomorrow which is 24 hours away even the next second , no one knows what will happen.

I started wondering why live ?? what is the purpose of god to create human beings ?? the saying "each day we live ,we are actually one step closer to death" is apt . As far as i know , life is full of obstacles and challenges and we have to endure them with resilient. Hell yeah its easier to be said than to be done . when obstacles or challenges approach , how many of us are able to fight till the end ??

I know life without obstacles = no life . but at this moment i sincerely hoped that life is just simple and full of happiness . No death, no seperation and no saying goodbyes . I HATE saying goodbye !! I first had this hatred of bidding farewell during NS , the program forced us to get together and bond with each other and after 3 months of forging a strong friendship together, the program again separates us forcefully. No one and NOTHING alive last forever . Farewell is a part and parcel of life . It somehow feels like boarding a train, when you reach one stop, you alight , but after sometimes it is time to move on, to proceed to the next stop. This is an on-going process , we meet ,we chat , we hangout  and we leave . THIS IS LIFE.

And the story begins....
One of my best friend was diagnosed with leukemia last Saturday9/11/13 . actually by that time was just suspected leukemia but the possibility is about 90% i was left in shock and devastation  i never had before . For the whole week since we came back from matrix , all i know is she was having anemia and the anemia seems to turn to leukemia ! i mean leukemia is some kind of blood cancer where the white blood cell is abnormal . LEUKEMIA never in life i ever thought that this monster could invade my love ones especially my best friend who is just 18 years old where life is just about to start . That saturday, the world seems to revolve in a weird kind of way. Reality  just doesnt seems real..... i called and called for the whole afternoon until she picked up her phoneat night .

The moment she picked up her phone, i cried . i know i am not suppose to cry but be stronger than the one who is enduring it. But i just couldn't hold back my tears. Her voice, gave me a sense of relief after trying to reach her for the whole afternoon. and somehow it triggers the tear duct in a way i dont know how :0 . we talked for half an hour . we could have talked waaay much longer but she sounds tired and i feel bad if i continue to bother her when she needs rest the most . and that phone call, was the most heart wrenching ever. every word i say , i have to think and think and think, filter,filter and filter just in case i said something that weren't suppose to be spoken . Its the first time facing this kind of incident , i thought it only happens in drama . but this is real, GODDAMN REAL !!

why??? i started to wonder . and flashbacks have been flooding through my memory lane . too much memories with her since f2. She has been my best friend for nearly 5 years. She is the one i gone through high school  life with . and she is the one who i spent most of the time with during schooling times . However what makes me feel bad the most is after we went to matrix. She got her friend and i got mine. Plus we are staying quite far away and different class. So basically we don't talk much or i can say we don't talk at all?

The most sarcastic part is what the human mind thinks" since we are studying in the same school, there is no purpose to call them or text them . Shall talk to them when we randomly meet in school." trust me this kind of talk never happens and even if it happened , by that time you would've forgot what you wanted to say . DON'T REPEAT MY MISTAKE !! be the initiator , be the first to talk !! Maintaining a friendship needs some effort . Don't wait for the other side to act. if u appreciate your friendship, take the first step .

I've always thought that friends will be with us forever especially when we are still so young and healthy and happy and strong ! But when the feeling that someone we love is going to leave us strikes, you could not imagine how heart-breaking it is.. But my friend is the strongest and toughest girl on earth!! she accepted this news with courage and she is positive minded .She is NOT AFRAID of leukemia and is ready to start a battle anytime :) i feel so proud for her !! GOGOGO !!

so 13.11.13 i went to visit her for the first time since she admitted to the hospital with a friend from kuantan.* i seriously am not a good friend to have* A3.3.4 was her room number . she was wearing a mask, she had a high fever and her chemotheraphy will be starting tomorrow or a day after depending on her health condition . My heart nearly shattered. seeing her lying wearily on her bed . she looked pale and tired , very very tired. I chatted with her but she was dozing on and off throughout the conversation. Everytime her eyes closes , my heart nearly stopped , afraid that she will fall asleep . she barely had the energy to talk so mostly it is me who did the talking . but i dont't talk much like i usually do , as she was tired. even nodding her head or replying seems tough. I can't bare to see her suffer. so eventually i stopped talking . There are so many things that i wanted to tell her . But i just can't .I bet i am not brave enough. even talking to her alone makes me wanna cry *useless me*..

after visiting about one hour, she was too tired to talk anymore and eventually fell asleep .seeing her sleeping so quiet and peaceful makes my heart warm, i could just sit there and watch her sleep all day long :) i love her so so much. There is nothing i can do but to pray hard for her speed recovery  . i still believe in the power of God :)

P.S I Love You , Xin Ying <3 p="">

Went to kek lok si with Matrix friends and prayed for xin ying :)

                                                               *Off*

Kem PLKN Sri Mutiara ( National service )

I realized that i haven't blog anything about my NS life which is an amazing part i will never want to forget in my life . Well, its been 2 months since i came back from PLKN and i actually miss the healthy lifestyle there .
Sleep early and wake up early :) i used to have the insomnia problem at home and i can only fall asleep after12.00am . Even though i am lying on my bed at 10pm, i can only fall asleep around 12-1am.

However , in NS you treasure every moment you have in your dorm whether to eat or to sleep . Because you basically don't have much time strolling in your dorm except for weekends . Life in NS was fun yet tiring as you can see  our daily routine

6.30 a.m. -PT pagi  ( lapor..excercise.. PT 10 * its like a star jump work out * and senamrobik every                                                                          
                     thursday )  outfit : Half loreng.
7.30 a.m.- Breakfast ( char mee , fried rice ,koay teow and our favourite NASI LEMAK ! however they  
                  usually serves nasi lemak during weekends just to encourgae lazy ass like me to wake up early  
                  and have breakfast. seriously , 99% of us are willing to wake up early for the sake of NASI
                 LEMAK ! haha )
8.15a.m - Berbaris at dewan makan , lapor and get ready for kelas * the BoRiNg-EST part in NS life*
8.30a.m. - Kelas ( we have 3 modules throughout the whole NS camp if i am not mistaken XD which
                 consist of CB KN and one more about alam 
                 pekerjaan. Trust me, is you are the "active and outspoken" type , there is a high possibility that
                 you will enjoy the Kelas more than others . Whereas for people like me * always keeping a low
                 profile and having this little phobia to speak in front of others " the Kelas is just simply a ToRtUrE
               . everyone will be distributed into different class so its fun to have those "high-spirited" classmates
                although it can sometimes be annoying =.= well , i got into CB4 and KN4 as well . CB class turns
                out to be the most interesting after all because i get to be with my friends ! sylvia , hazel and my
               "idol" jin li !haha! i'm kinda happy to be in the same group with jin li coz both of us have the same
               "nua" pattern and this friend of mine definitely have loads of facial expressions which made me
                LMAO all the time !
10.30a.m - Brunch? ( mostly kuih and some deep fried flour ball thingy which tastes awesome ! sometimes when the food prepared is nice , we go for 2nd round :) but beware not to get recognised by the mak cik distributing the food . But when the food tastes..erhem..erhem.. the mak cik will take a whole bunch of it and ask you to makan makan. =.= owh some adice here * the prettier or more colourful food tends to taste err..somehow awful * Therefore you should go for the ugly ones XD like the saying goes , don't judge a book by its cover *wink wink
11.00a.m.- Back to Kelas
12.30p.m - LUNCH ! ( the best part well, sometimes .usually we have chicken for lunch and fish for dinner . At this time everyone was like some hungry monster craving for food so badly coz everyone probably just woke up from their sleep in Kelas Zzzz.. haha Well,lunch time is considered the peak hour in Camp ! another advice : if you can, pack your lunch in a tupperware and sneak it into your dorm and DONT GET CAUGHT ! haha . eating in your dorm is way more relaxing than jostling and elbowing other people in the canteen :)
2.30p.m - Alternative ,either Kelas or Ceramah (70% ceramah) PURE BORING =.=
4.30p.m - Tea time
5.30p.m -Riadah ( it means FREE TIME ! you can do what ever you want :badminton,volleyball,sepak takraw, pingpong or you can choose to chill out in the koperasi gain some weight haha)
6.30p.m- Hell yeah ! its dinner time !!! Fish is 99% served as our dinner . well don't get your expectations too high , its just fried fish "PLAIN FRIED FISH.no sauce , tasteless and not to mention how it looks .

yeah, it basically looks like this. (credits to the owner  of this pic)

7.00p.m-9.00p.m - DO ANYTHING YOU WANT period as long you are in dewan makan . this is the moment for non-muslim coz all the muslim have to solat in the surau . Whether this moment is boring or not ,depends purely on what you do . As for me , chit chat , read story books or sleep ZZzz..
9.00p.m -10.00p.m or even 11p.m. - Lapor again and the jurulatih will give us a briefing about activities thats gonna happen the other day. Don't really have to pay attention to what they're talking coz you won't even understand plus the sound system SUCKS . all you can hear is sound not words.haha but somehow there are some who have SUPER EARS which amaze me all the time XD

I regretted for not writing diaries during my National Service T.T I kinda forget 70% of the incident that happened there T.T wira jaya ...kembara halangan.... flying fox....shooting with M16..berpidato on stage @.@ ... the time when i got high fever ...owh..and i kissed a girl ...........

I KISSED A GIRL ! hahahaha !its kinda embarrassing and hilarious at the same time XD here's how it goes. Me and a malay girl friend of mine used to do the "kissing" facial expression whenever we saw each other sooner or later it becomes a habit ... and later a NIGHTMARE ! As usual , we were doing the kissing expression when we actually got too close and our lips met for like a nano-second !!!!!!! SHOCKED !! I dashed to the toilet and brushed my teeth twice , then gurgle about 3 times with listerine and i cant stop wiping my lips ! I don't even dare to close my lips , so my lips was basically hanging in the air until my lips cracked a little and i have to lick my lips. At the precise moment i deeply hope for some lips changing operation i know i am being like a psycho ... Eventually i fell asleep. and the next day , i totally forgotten about this incident until my friend showed me the kissing expression sarcasticmly . But soon i find this hilarious and cant stop laughing about it .

Conclusion: National Service life was indeed fun hanging around with a bunch of friends from all over malaysia and from different races . This is the first time ever i get to know a Indian friend !! yay !! We learnt to respect each other and live together for 3 months in peace not piece haha/LAME . i LOVE national service !! If you were lucky enough to be the chosen one , DONT give up on this once in a lifetime opportunity :) you may be scared for the first few days * i have to admit , i secretly cried for nearly 3 days until i get used to the life there and totally immersed in it . Dont give up on NS and use studies as an excuse . You get to study whenever you want but NS is just once in a lifetime oh yea not forgetting , we actually get paid having fun there RM 150.00 / month ! but they deduct RM8 each time we visit the medic =.= we only knew it until we checked our bank account ... most of the time we visit the medic just to accompany our friends or just to enjoy the couple of minutes of air condition !haha

My forever tidy locker B09 :)

Here are some pics of my NS life ( Kem PLKN Sri Mutiara)

our "home" F4 . its way much comfortable than what i thought it would be .

Our very responsible Ketua Dobi ( thanks for making sure we always have clean shirts to wear )

what we do all the time --Picnic

Game session ( This is where we do all the exercising and marching)

Performance Night - The hottest KPOP girl dance group BLACKJACK)

Turtle aina ! the malay who can speak chinese ! and the inventor of AMANDORY  * she says that i look like the Dory from finding nemo *

The Khidmat Sosial day ( I was alone here T.T painting the gate of a malay primary school its my first time painting everv!!)

Siti Comel ! The girl i find cutest ever !!! i love to hug her ! she is the happy go lucky type and loves to talk about her dog Becky . haha btw her real name is heng xian

My "ou xiang" haha ! she is the reason i survived the boring till death KElAs . we;ve been in the same high school but we didnt know each other until we arrived in NS camp . A funny , crazy ,caring, understanding and straightforward girl .Love to hang out with her :)

This is Apple . Not that apple , this apple . haha ! The first tomboy friend of mine :) very very caring especially when i was sick . I think thats the benefit of having a tomboy friend . She is in charge of taking care of us ! haha apple cheak chai yee XD trust me, she hated her real name .haha

our messy dorm at night

Introducing you , our Dewan Makan :) you see the tiny tv on the left ? yup thats the only tv that functions and its always on tv3 .

My camping bag for wirajaya *a.k.a one day horribly spent with nature  .

        Group photo while climbing the mountain. photoholic !haha ! nothing can stop us from taking pictures :)

                                                                    Some creature we found

The one with the long hair is pretty Clarisse :) she sleeps opposite me so she's my half neighbour haha ! we went to the same tuition during primary school and she is a ex PCGHS student . the other one is Alicia . We've known each other since kindergarten ,she lives nearby my grandma's house, our grandparents are friends and our mothers were staying in the same hospital room while giving birth to us !i was born on the 26th and she was born on the 27th. So we actually met when we were babies !! and did i forget to mention clarisse and i  were born on the same day :) yay ! birthday buddies !!

                                                         Struggling to climb the mountain

                                           and.. having problem going down the mountain too

                                                                              Group Photo :)

June ! our father played badminton together and i went to her father for haircut years back then XD its a small world after all huh XD she is the Camera Girl haha .99% of our pictures were taken by her . She's an athlete, extremely good in table tennis and her stamina is ...WOW haha

                                                       Our Kem PLKN Sri Mutiara, Balik Pulau

            Posing with the "ponco" . we were suppose to use it to built a tent , not to take pics with it XDhaha

                                                                       Tadah !!Our Tent

                                                                                  Cheese *

                                                                         

                                                                       

                        Grumpy face coz the scorching sun is killing us !! Trust me , everyone is in a bad mood.

                                                                         Our Big Family

                                                                            Hazirah and I :)

                                 Our one day penang tour ! coz we won the dorm tercantik competition :)

                                     Sitting on a Cannon feeling like a boss at Bukit Bendera :)

                                          Our scrumptious lunch at Kenny rogers Queensbay mall

                     

                                           

                                                               Jump Shot ! kachak kachak*

                 

                                                                Graduation Day :')

                                                  From  the left Aina, Hafizah and me :)

                The Protestan Joan . I always make fun of her name hehe i call her JoHn all the time :)

                                                                     Comel and TKP

                           The pretty baby face winkee !! even her name sounds cute !haha

                                            Showing off our certificate like a proud baby :)

TKP . He is the friendliest officer ! so humble compared to those who act all arrogant ! thumbs up for him :)

                                      Me and Pikachu Nad !! she sleeps beside me !

                       

                                                         Our Kolam :) an indian tradition

                                                                             Welcome

             

         

                                                   Closing ceremony T.T its all going to end soon .

     The REDS !! haha. the girl below is Joyce from chung ling butterworth her attitude sipek cool and straightforward ! plus she is also kinda retarded and 38 ! haha ! there's always laughter hanging around with her especially after you heard how she scold someone , fierce yet hilarious ! the girl on the right is Huay Wei a.k.a my bas sekolah gang :) we've known each other since standard 3 in SJKC Jelutong , as usual the 38 award goes to..her !and owh yea she's good in dancing *nose bleed*! haha we only have each other when we first reached there .However we were distributed to different dormitories she's in F7 and i'm in F4 :( and the one wearing specs is wei mang !! we were in the same class during form 1 but i dont really know her back then . Different gang , i guess . She's the grandma type ( i also dont know why but everyone calls her ama ,so i just follow the "trend") haha sorry...

                    Fireworks ! i think our camp is the only one that  provides this kind of benefit !It definitely brighthens up the atmosphere :) a great way to pinpoint the end of this unforgettable 3 months:')

                                               Lelong lelong !! you can pick any you want ! haha

                                                                      IMY <3 p="">

                                                                              Bye :(

                                                                             Off*